Chemists are the easiest scientists to buy for and the hardest to surprise. Easy, because the periodic table is a pun machine and they know it. Hard, because they have seen every pun on it, usually on a mug, usually at a conference. So the bar is not "a chemistry joke". The bar is "a chemistry joke done well enough to wear in public".
Here is how we would shop for a chemist, sorted by the kind of joke they like.
For the one who wants it loud
Can I Lick It? Every chemist's first instinct and last mistake, printed on a periodic table in letters the safety officer can read from the door. Can I Lick It is the chemistry tee people photograph in the wild and the one we get asked about most. If you only buy one, buy this one.
Ah! The element of surprise. A single tile, symbol Ah. The joke is in the pause before they get it. Ah! The Element of Surprise is for the chemist who likes their humor dry and their reactions exothermic.
For the one who wants it classic
I wear this shirt periodically. The oldest pun in the book and still the one that makes a chemistry teacher grin. We make it two ways: the classic with element tiles, and the bold one for people who want the joke readable across the lecture hall.
Chemists have all the solutions. They do, and they will tell you. Chemists Have All The Solutions is the one chemistry grads get from their parents, roll their eyes at, and wear every week.
For the one who wants it pretty
Not every chemist wants a joke on their chest. Chemistry Garden and Chemistry Flask Garden grow flowers out of glassware, and Love Is Chemistry says the quiet part with a molecule. These read as design to a stranger and as a wink to anyone who has run a column.
For her
If she is a chemist, there is a Chemist Pink Doll tee with her title in warm retro script, and This Girl's Got Solutions for the one who fixes everything, in the lab and out of it. Both live in our Women Powering Science collection alongside Girls Just Wanna Have Funding, which is a chemistry joke only in the sense that funding is a limiting reagent.
For the lab's social chair
The Lab Martini (shaken, not stirred, in a conical) and The Experimental Brew are for the chemist who runs the Friday reaction. Breaking Lab is for the one who has heard the Walter White joke and decided to own it.
Picking the right one
- Teacher or student? Teachers love the classics (Periodically, Solutions). Students love the loud ones (Lick It, Element of Surprise).
- Sizing: unisex, true to size. Between sizes, go by the chest measurement on the Size & Fit guide.
- Still unsure? The whole Chemistry, Periodically collection is on one page, sorted by what chemists actually buy. Or send a gift card and let them titrate their own choice.
Buying for a different kind of scientist? Start with the gifts for scientists guide, sorted by field.